A SWOT Analysis of Cuba

Welcome. Here is our Cuba installment in the form of a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) analysis as requested by Dean Riley (no doubt other ex-commerce students and accountants will appreciate it too).

Strengths

Nanny
Her name is Zoila but we called her Nanny (behind her back). She was the head of an awesome family who we stayed with as they don´t have hostels in Cuba. She was super friendly, treated us like her grandkids and told us not to get money off the street or get mugged, even though she never spoke a word of english. Jane was her favourite as she got up early and finished all of her meals.

Ron
Havana Club rum. So cheap, so good. Ron is our friend whether he is straight, cuba libre, mojito or daiquiri.

Art
Like the rum, so cheap, so good.

Music
The maracca playing - it is incredible. Voices so strong. The music is everywhere, its awesome and the whole of Cuba knows it.

Socialism
It was good that you knew everyone had something to eat (the ration card system intrigued us). The bracket between rich and poor is small - it is not as noticeable as the gap in Mexico. It also means Cubans can get pizza and ice cream for 25c (along with tight kiwis who make it their mission to get their hands on the local Cuban currency that buys said pizza and ice cream).

Adrian
Our Christmas host backed it up while he was in Cuba on business. He took us to his favourite secret restaurant and then on to a salsa club. Knowing a Spanish speaker made a huge difference at restaurants and bars. Thanks again Adrian!

Nature
We went to an awesome town called Trinidad - a colonial city really close to both the beach and the mountains. The beach was white sand, not too resorty with no hustlers. Got some good nature exploring a cave in the mountains where we got to do bombs and staples in a swimming hole in the cave for an hour with no interruptions. Ahh the serenity.

Kai
Seafood was fresh and delicious. So many types of banana chips and delicious breakfasts at the houses we stayed at. See also weaknesses.

Weaknesses

The fleas
Nanny´s dog Jenny (also called J.Lo) had fleas. She put them in Ainsley´s bed.

"The Scam"
Such a huge weakness that it has a whole blog entry to itself. We´re embarrassed.

Socialism
Limited opportunities or incentives to get ahead. It makes everyone out to get the foreign dollar (refer to The Scam above), without having to give most of it to Fidel and co. It also means the shops have really bizarre things in them and are very limited. There are also so many rules. For example, you are only allowed to have two foreigners staying in a room in your house. If the inspector came around, Jacky had to pretend she was visiting from her fancy hotel and hide in the closet (we called her Anne Frank).

Ladas
It appears that for each missle that Cuba ordered from Russia, it got 1,000 Ladas for free (including for the cops and taxis). There are Lada jokes for a reason. Funky old cars do exist in Cuba but not nearly as often as they appear on the postcards.

Kai
National food = fried chicken and rice.

Queues
Cubans queue for everything, including toy shops. Also lots of pushing. As you can imagine, patience levels were not high with members of Team Fantasia.

Opportunities

Whores
Males and females, both pretty and ugly. Anyone can be a prostitute here, provided you can say ¨PSSST!!!`, wolfwhistle, make kissing noises and start all sentences with `where you from?`

Cheap sex
If you are white, single, 50+ and most commonly a woman, Cuba is the place to come for a `guide´ with ´special services´. And no, we did not take this opportunity.

Fashion advisors
Cuba is a walking brochure of `what not to wear`. Females: so many tight, white, 2 sizes too small pànts, diamantes, excessively high white shoes, tight small bright tops. Males: womans clothes, full white outfits (umbrella, hat and shoes included) - ok if you are P Diddy or in a boy band, but they are not.

Vets/Neuters/Cullers
There is an excellent opportunity to go and do something about the very sad looking manky dogs. Its a vicious cycle, where all the rabid dogs breed more rabid flea ridden dogs and then have extremely saggy tets.

Fidel´s death
When Fidel dies (or they reveal he has been on ice for a while) it could potentially provide opportunities for change including removing some rules that aren´t really paying off. See also threats.

Restoration
There are so many funky cool buildings that are shabby and falling down. If they could do them up to the 1950`s glory it would be awesome!

(The contrast)

Rope ladders for snorkelling boats
It would be much less work for the skinny little Cubans if they bought rope ladders instead of having to haul in much larger gringos. Welcome beached whales.

Threats

Nanny
Nanny became a threat when she gave us a glass full of straight rum as a thank you for her birthday treats. Unfortunately we had consumed at least a bottle of rum the night before, had four hours sleep and it was only lunch time. Nanny´s only down fall.

Fidel´s death
God knows what will happen. It would be a bummer if Cuba lost some of its real strong national identity. The Cubans seem pretty content with their system (and are kinda anti-american) and it would be stink if someone forced change on them.

Confidence in our dancing ability
We have no rhythm. Every Cuban has a lot of rhythm, as demonstrated at salsa clubs (except The Scam) and while playing maraccas. Why do we suck?